So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

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So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Wed Dec 12, 2012 3:56 am

Decided to make a thread showcasing just how absolutely idiotic some people can be, feel free to chime in with your own stories and we'll see who can trump who.....should be entertaining to say the least.....

I'll be updating and posting here regularly as one of the "perks" is that my job is definitely NOT short of idiots that I come into contact with. For those that don't know I work in Law Enforcement as a Deputy Sheriff and am currently assigned to our jail division....

I'll start off with a couple of short stories. :p

I was booking in this kid the other night for operating while intoxicated (DUI), college kid, a real elitist in my opinion, as right off the elevator he tried to showcase his Grad school intelligence and started throwing that in our faces, especially to the female officer who arrested him. The following exchange if pretty much word for word the exchange I had with this 23 y/o.

GUY: (to arresting officer) "You are sooooo stupid, you can't even spell simple words, you obviously didn't go to college, cops are sooooo dumb anybody can be one"

***Fast Forward 5 more Minutes with more of the same "cops are dumb" comments***

GUY: "Shit she was dumb....she couldn't even spell Psychotic and SHE is arresting ME???
ME: "I need you to stand in front of this grey wall sir, I need a photo of you"
GUY: "pfft (looks at other deputy) Can YOU spell Psychotic???
CO-WORKER: "Why?"
GUY: "I knew it...dumb ass cops"

(at this point he was getting on my nerves, wasn't angry, just thought he was an idiot..)

GUY: (looks at me) "Can YOU spell Psychotic"
ME: (without hesitation and no pause) Sure. P-S-Y-C-H-O-T-I-C, can YOU spell "Paraphernalia"
GUY: "well....no"
ME: "Touche'.....now stand still, be quiet and start acting like an adult, or should I call you dumb because you can't spell a simple word???"


Needless to say he shut up after that. My co-workers mouth pretty much dropped after that exchange. Kid quit with the whole cops are stupid angle. I didn't have the heart to tell the kid that he just got schooled by someone w/o a college degree, I'm short about 20hrs as of right now. LOL....
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Salty » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:02 am

=))

Well played sir!
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby soxtalon » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:04 am

[face_laughclap]

Nice. I'm too tired to rant now but I got some good ones too...not everyone understands that 911 is for emergencies only...:p
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:10 am

Damn Sarc, I didn't know that the JCC mods had titles of deputy sheriff. :p

Guy sounds like exar can
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby strangebehaviour » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:13 am

Lol! Actually,I don't think my job sucks, Brian. I love being a teacher. It is stressful sometimes but it never sucks. my last job sucked! Would you want to see 83 year old naked guys with dementia umm, pleasuring themselves? That was the worst!
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby soxtalon » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:15 am

Sorry Liz....I couldn't help myself...
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby strangebehaviour » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:17 am

Well, next time clean up, Paul!

Lol, I need sleep. Later, dudes.
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Emperor's Prize » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:18 am

There was the time, years ago when I worked at the grand opening of Record Town/Saturday Matinee at Crossgates on Black Friday when I was assaulted by a woman throwing a VHS tape at me ...

... the movie??

Bambi.

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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby soxtalon » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:19 am

G'night! !!
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:24 am

EP, you had the wrong reaction to her throwing the Bambi VHS tape at you.

The correct response?

THUMPER
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby SarkaVrae » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:28 am

my last job was awesome till my boss decided my job description included his wang and his tongue down my throat. now i'm jobless and stay home with the kiddies.
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Emperor's Prize » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:32 am

Everybody WANG CHUNG tonight.

And Obvy? Effing hilarious. :))
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby soxtalon » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:33 am

Yeah but her boss wanted her to Chung his Wang...
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Emperor's Prize » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:33 am

Everybody have fun tonight!
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby soxtalon » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:36 am

I saw what you did there...
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:39 am

oh my LAWD you people are killing me.
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Emperor Mickey » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:42 am

strangebehaviour wrote:Would you want to see 83 year old naked guys with dementia umm, pleasuring themselves?



So like how watch $$$ do I get to watch... no wait NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT!! :ymsick:
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:56 am

strangebehaviour wrote:Lol! Actually,I don't think my job sucks, Brian. I love being a teacher. It is stressful sometimes but it never sucks. my last job sucked! Would you want to see 83 year old naked guys with dementia umm, pleasuring themselves? That was the worst!



Haha...well I don't mean to imply my job sucks, I absolutely LOVE it, it was more a play on words and trying to come up with a somewhat witty title. The few times I do get to actually help people more than makes up for the idiots I deal with on a day in day out basis. :p

Could have easily titled the thread: Stupid shit people do :p
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:57 am

strangebehaviour wrote:Lol! Actually,I don't think my job sucks, Brian. I love being a teacher. It is stressful sometimes but it never sucks. my last job sucked! Would you want to see 83 year old naked guys with dementia umm, pleasuring themselves? That was the worst!



Haha....just saw this....and actually I've seen that, no joke. :p
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:05 am

Did you pay to see that? :))
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:17 am

Naw, just another "perk" unfortunately. One of the drawbacks to mental health care being cut back nationwide is that county jails/prisons are full of mentally disturbed people that have no other place to go.

Unfortunately I've seen more dick/balls than I would like to admit. I have to perform visual strip searches on people who are arrested for drug charges, weapons charges, or felonies if they are serious enough.

You DON'T want to know what I've found up people's asses.....
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Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Emperor's Prize » Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:18 am

Their heads?
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:24 am

=))

Sarc, you said visual strip searches. How in the world do you... I'm not sure I want to know.
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Emperor Mickey » Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:12 am

Sarc wrote:You DON'T want to know what I've found up people's asses.....



Actually I find so interesting, but sick, in what people think they can stick up there....


Do share, by all means. :))
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Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:26 am

Captain Obvious wrote:=))

Sarc, you said visual strip searches. How in the world do you... I'm not sure I want to know.


Heh...well by law I can't physically touch someone, i.e a body cavity search which would be considered "physical". We always say to someone, "I have to do a visual strip search on you due to your charges, do you have any weapons/drugs on you?"

I haven't found any weapons "in" someone yet but I have found Cocaine, Meth, Weed.....all in baggies of course. We actually had someone smuggle a book of matches up their ass about 8 months ago and start a fire in our Max security block. Wasn't a huge fire, he smuggled in some cigs as well. Guess the genius didn't know that you can smell cigarette smoke in places where you usually don't have it.

My best week, if you want to call it that :p , is when I found drugs in back to back shifts, meth and then weed. About a month or two before I got hired someone tried to smuggle in a cell phone, not joking.....

If we do happen to find/see something we ask them to get it, if they refuse we have to take them to the ER and a medical professional has to do it for us. I can't touch them in any way.
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