So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

This is the Phatooine's social forum. Everyone welcome, sideburns encouraged.

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Lord Tuvitor » Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:31 am

If I were a police officer, I don't think I would enforce marijuana laws.
You *BELCH* y-you Cronenberged Phatooine! Real good, Morty!
User avatar
Lord Tuvitor
Of Dimension C-137
 
Posts: 873
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 4:05 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:54 am

Lord Tuvitor wrote:If I were a police officer, I don't think I would enforce marijuana laws.


Well I'm torn. I have never personally smoked weed, when I was younger there were times where I was the only person not smoking, so it's not like I think any less if someone chooses to do it, it's really none of my business. The only time I get pissy about weed is when we get someone who was arrested for OWI but is impaired due to drugs, not alcohol related, claim they aren't impaired yet they can't stand up, carry a conversation etc.... it happens more than you would think.

The reason I get pissy is this: I personally have booked into jail hundreds....thousands of impaired people who were driving, both via alcohol and marijuana/meth etc...majority of time the person who drank says "yeah I F'd up, shouldn't have drove", but the guy who is baked beyond belief is adamant they did nothing wrong and wants to know why they were arrested for smoking a little bit of weed.

I have asked routine questions to people who only had marijuana in their system basic routine booking questions, like: How old are you? and gotten a phone number for a reply, and that goes on and on. I've had people so stoned that couldnt' dress themselves and change from their clothes into the orange jumpsuit, or stand without falling for the 5 minutes it takes me to get their finger prints.

I am under the opinion that if LE could have the technology to see how high someone is, kinda like a PBT but for Marijuana, so that you could prevent people from driving then you would get a good majority of LE to vote Pro Marijuana, I know that's my only hold up. Definitely a myth that if you are stoned you can't cause an accident/fatality, I know because I've seen it first hand.

I agree that alcohol is the worse than weed, I've had to fight more drunk people versus someone who is just high on weed, it's very rare but it happens once in a great while. I guess I just hate the fact that people can't own up to what they did, regardless of if it's weed, it just so happens that most of the people I've booked in for an OWI/Weed won't admit it, and I don't mean in court, but just in the general conversation during booking which has no bearing on their court case, just shooting the shit with them, talking ya'know? They are all adamant it's BS, and I'm like dude you can't even stand and you were driving a 4000lb car, do you even know you ran off the road and took out 3 mail boxes? (that's a true story btw)

I don't know about othe LE agencies but like I said the opinion of most of the deputies in my department is that if there was a way to test for OWI they would be okay with legalizing marijuana, they just don't want you to be stoned and driving, that's the big hold up with most cops (again, at least in my area).

As of right now the only way to tell if someone is high while driving, barring a urine test, is what's called a DRE (Drug Recognition Expert). It's someone who the department has had trained to learn different SFST's but ones that are drug specific. Your body reacts to certain drugs physiologically and the officer can deduce what drug it is. Weed, meth, pcp, coke, etc....

I'd vote legalize it, tax it, as long as people don't drive impaired I'm cool with it.
My favorite day: 02/25/95
My least favorite day: 12/18/03

Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
User avatar
Sarc
Scoundrel
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:09 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Lord Tuvitor » Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:58 am

Yeah well, I don't even drive on the same days that I smoke... but then again I'm not really all that big into driving anyways. :p
You *BELCH* y-you Cronenberged Phatooine! Real good, Morty!
User avatar
Lord Tuvitor
Of Dimension C-137
 
Posts: 873
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 4:05 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:03 am

Lord Tuvitor wrote:Yeah well, I don't even drive on the same days that I smoke... but then again I'm not really all that big into driving anyways. :p



The drawback is that virtually all states, and that includes the ones that just legalized weed, have what is called a "zero tolerance". That means if you get pulled over and the cops have reason to believe you are under the influence and you take a urine test but aren't high at that particular time you are still screwed. Weed stays in your system for a LOOONG time and will show a positive even though you haven't smoked for weeks.
My favorite day: 02/25/95
My least favorite day: 12/18/03

Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
User avatar
Sarc
Scoundrel
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:09 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Lord Tuvitor » Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:05 am

Good point. Thing is, in my area, nearly everybody and their grandmother's kittens smoke and have MMJ cards, so I don't really think it is a high priority in enforcement locally...
You *BELCH* y-you Cronenberged Phatooine! Real good, Morty!
User avatar
Lord Tuvitor
Of Dimension C-137
 
Posts: 873
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 4:05 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:11 am

Yeah, at least here in Iowa the county guys are out looking for Meth labs more than anything. We do however get a lot of Weed charges from the University of Iowa Police, kids smoking in their dorm room etc...

I always tell the kids, that if they are going to smoke don't travel with it, that's how most of them get caught. They drive, speed, get pulled over, roll down window and wham....cop gets instant whiff of weed. I tell them dude just leave it at home, why drive with it in your pocket? And if you're going to smoke in your dorm room F'ing be smart about it. Tape up the door, put a wet towel down by the kick plate and get a fan and blow that shit out the window.... :p
My favorite day: 02/25/95
My least favorite day: 12/18/03

Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
User avatar
Sarc
Scoundrel
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:09 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Darth Mall Guard » Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:14 am

Puff, puff, give bitches!!!

*Note: I don't smoke. I say legalize it and tax the shit out of it!
Forever in my Heart. Ericka...
You can't stop the inevitable. You can only slow it down with beer
User avatar
Darth Mall Guard
Thief
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2003 1:08 am
Location: Home

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:35 pm

Sarc wrote:Well I'm torn. I have never personally smoked weed, when I was younger there were times where I was the only person not smoking, so it's not like I think any less if someone chooses to do it, it's really none of my business.



All I can say is...

Bill Clinton wrote: That's ok, I never inhaled either.
Fairness is equal opportunity, not equal outcome.
User avatar
Captain Obvious
No Title Needed
 
Posts: 487
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 12:52 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:49 pm

Booked in a lot of idiots last night, geez and here I thought it was going to be a slow week what with the University of Iowa having finals and then Winter break.

--Had a kid come in who we have previously dealt with, he's been arrested 4 times in the past 16 months and yes we can remember "certain" people who come to jail. This kid is usually a problem to say the least. One of my co-workers, a female deputy, and I were booking him in verifying his address etc....when all of a sudden he slams his head forward against the metal gate/enclosure not once but twice in rapid succession. My first reaction was "wtf??", kid goes for a third hit so I quickly open the door preventing him from hitting his head. He sits back up and I say to him "all right...let's go" as me and my co-worker each try to grab an arm. He swings his arms and pulls them back so we can't grab them while telling us "no...F you..."

I lean forward and grab the back of his neck bringing him to the floor, for a split second me and my co-worker look at each other as if to say, "great...now what??", kid starts thrashing about yet tries to keep his hands under his stomach so I was like F this....I grabbed him by the hair and pulled....hard.....he yelled to say the least, you would have thought I was beating the crap out of him he was wailing, drug him by the shirt collar to a holding cell. Once inside the cell we closed the door and tried to clean up the area, not even 30 seconds go by when we hear "boom, boom, boom", dumb ass kid plowed head first running into the door, he only calmed down when Sarge threatened to taze him.

--Next kid (it was a shitty hour...) was so god damn drunk that he got arrested for trying to whip his dick out INSIDE a gas station and urinate on a chip rack, that's how F'ed up this kid was, had no idea where he was or wtf he was doing. Well this kid "seems" like he is doing okay, my Sgt was talking to this kids dad on the phone when he starts doing the pre heave throw up dance, I barely got the trash can in front of him, timed it just right as a spout of puke comes out....and of course it smells like an F'ing distillery.....I almost puked....I call it a success if I don't have to clean up puke, urine, or feces....


Oh and before you judge the whole hair pulling etc...like I've said before, this shit ain't like the movies, people do NOT go down with one punch, I fight a shitload of people on meth, coke, alcohol, etc...and there is definitely NO such thing as a fair fight. As I write this I have a bruised elbow and bruised knee and those are injuries from 4+ months ago that are still nagging. It's not like we have to fight day in day out, but if we do the rule of thumb is "end it quick", none of this rocky balboa shit standing toe to toe, it's all take them to the ground, holds, etc...

Two basic rules in a correctional facility: Don't turn your back on anyone, don't let anyone get behind you...
My favorite day: 02/25/95
My least favorite day: 12/18/03

Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
User avatar
Sarc
Scoundrel
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:09 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:44 pm

What do you do if the person knows how to ground fight?
Fairness is equal opportunity, not equal outcome.
User avatar
Captain Obvious
No Title Needed
 
Posts: 487
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 12:52 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Sat Dec 15, 2012 12:59 am

Haven't come across it yet, but sheer force of numbers wins....always....

Plus the fact that we'll just up the ante and taze the person, though in my 2 1/2 years my team has only had to tase 3 people, and all of those were drive stuns, meaning no probes. I'm sure big cities have more issues than we do, we go hands on about 2-5 times a week, at least on my rotation. I work with 3 other Deputies and the youngest one is 30 so we're all pretty good about using our brains/mouth first and going from there. I don't like carring a taser up in the jail though we can if we want. I just have a radio and a key, plus my cuffs. All my other gear is downstairs in a gun locker so that if I have to do a transport etc....I just go down and get it, we don't allow weapons inside the jail (on the 2nd floor where the inmates are).

Our average "fight" usually lasts no more than 20 seconds, which doesn't sound like a long time but if you sit and look at a stop watch it's forever it seems like....One of the big reasons we strike first, when you deal with enough people who want to fight you generally get an idea if something is going to go South or not, if someone is clenching their jaw making fists we usually get that under control pretty damn quick.

We usually have a rule of 2 deputies booking per person/inmate that comes up to jail. Then if the two of us can't handle it help isn't very far behind.

We've never lost a fight, even if we got our asses kicked there's nowhere for them to go, they're on a second floor and have no less than 6 doors to go through, of which the key I carry will only open 2, rest of them have to be buzzed by the control center.

I usually don't have any problems though, I'm not "huge" but being 6'4" and 230lbs is usually more than enough. If someone happens to be stronger than me well that's when all the cop training shit comes in, plus being tall and having leverage makes up for a lot. Should go to Youtube and watch some jail booking videos, that's pretty much what I deal with on a nightly basis, though some of those booking officers are dicks IMO.....
My favorite day: 02/25/95
My least favorite day: 12/18/03

Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
User avatar
Sarc
Scoundrel
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:09 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Sat Dec 15, 2012 1:11 am

Going back to the title of the thread, I think waste water management and proctologist would be two shitty jobs.
Fairness is equal opportunity, not equal outcome.
User avatar
Captain Obvious
No Title Needed
 
Posts: 487
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 12:52 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:35 pm

So we've had this guy in one of our holding cells the past two days, he is de-toxing off of alcohol (and drugs more than likely), so we can't put him in with the regular inmates due to him hallucinating etc....one of the few things I did NOT know that happens to hard core drinkers/druggies before being hired. Now I know and knowing is half the battle. GI Joooeee

Apparently he thought it would be completely fine to dis-robe, masturbate onto his plastic mattress, then get on his hands/knees and start licking up his.....well you get the point.

I also had to take a small 57 year old female to the ground last night because she turned around and hit one of our female control center operators (civilian dispatcher basically). She was a real handful, it's always the small guys/gals you have to worry about, 'specially the chicks.....

If you guys can top that little 30 minute snippet I don't know whether to say congrats or apologize....
My favorite day: 02/25/95
My least favorite day: 12/18/03

Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
User avatar
Sarc
Scoundrel
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:09 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:48 pm

that is frigging disgusting.
Fairness is equal opportunity, not equal outcome.
User avatar
Captain Obvious
No Title Needed
 
Posts: 487
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 12:52 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby The Count » Tue Jan 01, 2013 1:07 am

A spritz of saline down the nostrils puts my clients where I want them, then I give them the haldol/Ativan combo with the biggest needle I can find.

I'd prefer a taser though, to be honest.
You fire your musket, but I'll run you through.

The Glory at PoP's Right Hand
User avatar
The Count
Thief
 
Posts: 83
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 4:12 am
Location: Orlando, Florida

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Lord Tuvitor » Tue Jan 01, 2013 10:03 pm

Captain Obvious wrote:that is frigging disgusting.


Agreed. Enough internet for me today, I think I'm gonna go watch some cartoons. :p
You *BELCH* y-you Cronenberged Phatooine! Real good, Morty!
User avatar
Lord Tuvitor
Of Dimension C-137
 
Posts: 873
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 4:05 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:27 pm

So I get to work on Sunday night and am told by the Day shift that one of the inmates that we had housed at another facility (our jail is 30+ yrs old and we are overcapacity) had apparently made comments saying that he was going to throw feces and urine on jail staff. Not the first time I've heard this threat and have never actually had it happen to me or anyone on my team, obviously we take the threat seriously, I mean who wants that, right?

Day staff put this guy into one of our holding cells, it just has a drain, no bunk/sink etc....just a concrete floor, they even took away his matress. About 4hrs into my shift one of my co-workers tell me to look at the monitor for Holding and what do I see? Yep....guy is peeing into a empty baggie from his sack lunch.....fast forward another hour and we see him squatting down dropping a deuce into an empty Dorito's bag.

Now you would think he would be done, right? Nope. About an hour after that he proceeded to take the brown paper bag, smear it with feces and throw it at the camera so that we can't watch him, as well as putting feces covered bag on the window portal on the cell door so we can't manually look in.

I was more than content to leave him in that room, for those of you who don't know, shit stinks....bad....my solution was to take duct tape and tape up the door edges sealing in the "smell" so to speak. Let him wallow in it was my vote...but....it was decided that we should move him if possible.....I thought to myself the odds of this Asshat complying is zero.

I thought great, we're going to open the door and be pelted with bags of piss/shit....

Co-workers and I decided to grab the Electric shield from the Captain's office, think big Roman shield that is backwards so that the curved side faces bad guy.....oh yeah it's like a big taser...hurts like a mofo....

We decide on a entry plan if talking doesn't work, I go in taze the F out of the guy and drag him out.....wearing gloves of course. But.....

After all of the planning, and about 8hrs of hearing him tell me "you are a faggot ass pussy Mofo" we open the door to the cell, ask him to come out, says he won't because he "don't trust you guys", but finally comes out and walks down to another holding cell.

Pretty anti-climatic I know......Spent the next hour hosing down the entire cell with pine sol and soap, hence why we don't put anything in that cell.

So how was your guys' weekend.....???
My favorite day: 02/25/95
My least favorite day: 12/18/03

Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
User avatar
Sarc
Scoundrel
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:09 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby The Count » Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:35 pm

You fire your musket, but I'll run you through.

The Glory at PoP's Right Hand
User avatar
The Count
Thief
 
Posts: 83
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 4:12 am
Location: Orlando, Florida

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:40 pm

This is funny, granted it's more funny if you are in LE or first responder but still worth watching... :p

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzYxz_uvtSI[/youtube]
My favorite day: 02/25/95
My least favorite day: 12/18/03

Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
User avatar
Sarc
Scoundrel
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:09 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby soxtalon » Thu Jan 10, 2013 10:02 pm

LOL! Love it :D
The key to immortality is first living a live worth remembering
User avatar
soxtalon
The Darknes of the Light
 
Posts: 1495
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:15 pm
Location: Upstate New York

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby jedi_quinn » Sat Jan 19, 2013 10:35 pm

So some of you may remember I'm a pharmacist for kiddie-winks in a big London hospital. A few years ago I was going through this teenager's medication (he was a cancer patient) and he had a box of ondansetron, a drug to combat nausea/sickness, in a class of drugs known as 'anti-emetics'.

I had to bite my tongue when scrawled along the box in big capital letters was 'ANTI-SEMETIC'.....curse those anti-Jewish drugs lol
Back again.....If you remember me, PM me
User avatar
jedi_quinn
Scum
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 6:59 am
Location: England

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Lord Tuvitor » Sat Jan 19, 2013 10:50 pm

So it is... poisonous to Jews?

(wassup quinn!)
You *BELCH* y-you Cronenberged Phatooine! Real good, Morty!
User avatar
Lord Tuvitor
Of Dimension C-137
 
Posts: 873
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 4:05 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby jedi_quinn » Sat Jan 19, 2013 11:04 pm

Hey LT I got the invite email so had to drop by! I'll be stopping by every so often to see what's going on!

PS - Safe for Jews lol
Back again.....If you remember me, PM me
User avatar
jedi_quinn
Scum
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 6:59 am
Location: England

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Captain Obvious » Sun Jan 20, 2013 5:08 am

Quinn, ya old rascal. Good to see ya. Hope you have some more good stories.

Here's one for you all. I went into a CPA office, of course I'm in sales, and talked with the owner about streamlining their work, and he was pretty set. However, I had him talking and I was trying to better understand his workflow to see if there was a way I could save him some money while making a sale. His secretary speaks up over him and says "Excuse me sir, but we aren't interested." I politely handed him my card and told him that when the person who signs the back of the checks makes the decisions, I can never save them money. More stories, better ones, to come.
Fairness is equal opportunity, not equal outcome.
User avatar
Captain Obvious
No Title Needed
 
Posts: 487
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 12:52 am

Re: So you think YOUR job sucks eh????

Postby Sarc » Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:23 am

Ahh god bless the drunk University of Iowa college students......made for a loooong weekend. :|

First up we have a drunk off his ass kid who wouldn't leave a bar, is escorted out by bouncers, subsequently arrested, fights with officers, BITES an officer in the hand so bad it draws blood (through a glove even). Even cuffed this drunk kid fights with me and 3 of my co-workers. We get him into our holding cell which is basically nothing but 4 walls with nothing else in it and put him on his stomach so we can empty his pockets, again still cuffed...on his stomach even, he's kicking and trying to head butt us.

Female deputy on my team applies a pressure point to his ear which enlicits the response "I'll motherfucking kill you and your husband", which obviously isn't funny but in the context imagine fighting with someone when you hear that and your husband just happens to be the one holding the guy's legs, lmao.....me, my sgt, and the female deputy kinda stopped for a second and look at the guy who was holding drunk a-holes legs, he is the female deputies husband, we all give him a smirk and go back to getting the guy under control, surreal if anything.....kind of a you had to be there moment, lol.....
My favorite day: 02/25/95
My least favorite day: 12/18/03

Salmon, the other Pink meat.......
Somebody call a lumberjack, I've got wood....
User avatar
Sarc
Scoundrel
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:09 am

PreviousNext

Return to The Mantina

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron